


I Wanna Dance With Somebody (But Not You)

by BroomballKraken



Series: FE Rarepair Week 2019 [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: FE Rarepair Week 2019, Gender-Neutral My Unit | Byleth, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Time Skip, Rare pair hell is a terrible place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-10-19 13:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20657990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroomballKraken/pseuds/BroomballKraken
Summary: It was the night of the ball at Garrag Mach, and both Lorenz and Sylvain were eager to hit the dance floor with a beautiful woman on their arm, much to the chagrin of their other classmates. What they didn’t count on, however, was having to dance witheach other.Written for FE Rarepair Week Day 4, Prompt: Gathering





	I Wanna Dance With Somebody (But Not You)

“...We need to do something about this.”

“Yeah, I agree.”

Hilda and Ingrid shared an exasperated look as they turned their attention to the objects of their annoyance. It was the night of the ball, and everyone should have been having a good time, but the antics of two of their classmates were making more than a few girls visibly uncomfortable. On one side of the room, Sylvain was jumping from one girl to the next, flirting in his usual, overbearing way. On the other side of the room, Lorenz was most likely spouting some sort of flowery nonsense to every girl nearby that was his own brand of obnoxious flirting.

“Ugh, gods!” Hilda said, slapping a hand over her face as she shook her head, “Those two idiots never stop, do they?”

“Sylvain was always like this...even when we were kids.” Ingrid grumbled, sighing deeply as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“They really should just flirt with each other and leave everyone else alone.” Hilda said, laughing at the absurdity of the idea. When she composed herself, she found that Ingrid was staring at her with a sly grin on her face, causing Hilda to raise a confused eyebrow.

“Hilda, you may be onto something there.” Ingrid said, and when Hilda just continued to stare at her, Ingrid leaned over and whispered something in her ear.

“Oh! That actually might work! Let’s do it!” Hilda said, and they both giggled as they went to retrieve their respective housemates. Ingrid pushed her way through the crowd until she made it to Sylvain, who was busy talking up a very annoyed-looking girl.

“...so what do you say, babe? A beauty like you would look great being pulled around the dance floor by yours truly-” Sylvain was saying, but he was interrupted when Ingrid grabbed him by the ear and dragged him away from the poor girl, who sighed in relief and nodded her thanks, and Ingrid smiled in return. The smile then fell from her face as she glanced back at Sylvain as she tugged him along, her eyes narrowed into a glare.

“Ow! Ingrid, what are you doing?” Sylvain complained, flailing uselessly about as he tried to keep his balance. Ingrid stopped when they were in the middle of the dance floor, and she turned on her heel and poked a finger at his chest.

“Will you ever stop harassing every girl you set your eyes on?” Ingrid asked. Sylvain pouted at her as he rubbed at his sore ear.

“C’mon, why do you always have to ruin my fun?” Sylvain grumbled, and Ingrid opened her mouth to respond, but she was interrupted.

“Hilda! Put me down this instant!”

“Chill out, Lorenz.”

Hilda walked up to Ingrid and Sylvain, with Lorenz slung over her shoulder, and Ingrid had to snort to suppress her laughter at the ridiculousness of the sight. Hilda set the annoyed noble back on his feet, and when he turned to admonish her, his eyes met Sylvain’s and his face scrunched up with annoyance.

“Sylvain.” he scoffed, his brow furrowing as he crossed his arms over his chest. Sylvain glared back at him, before a cocky grin crossed his face.

“Hey Lorenz. Get rejected lately? Oh, wait, I already know the answer to that.” Sylvain said, and Lorenz’s gasped as an absolutely sour look crossed his face.

“How abominably uncouth, although not unexpected coming from you.” Lorenz said, huffing as he turned his nose up at his rival. Sylvain was about to snap back at him, but music suddenly filled the room and the crowd of people around them began to pair off in preparation to dance.

“Well, it looks like you guys won’t have time to find partners, so I guess you’ll have to dance with each other!” Hilda said with a wink. Lorenz and Sylvain shared a glance, and they both balked at the idea.

“Tch! As if I’d ever want to dance with a stuck up noble like Lorenz!” Sylvain said, making an exaggerated gagging noise.

“Well, I do not see how anyone would ever want a shallow bore like you as a dance partner.” Lorenz sneered back, and the two men continued to glower at each other.

“You’re gonna look pretty dumb dancing alone then, ‘cause it looks like everyone else has a partner.” Hilda said with a shrug. Sylvain snorted and turned to where Ingrid had been standing.

“Hey, Ingrid, dance with me-” he began, but stopped when he realized that she had wandered off and was dancing with a smiling Ashe. Sylvain frowned and chewed on his lip.

“How unfortunate for you,” Lorenz said, chuckling at Sylvain’s unfortunate predicament. “Hilda, would you do me the honor of dancing with me?”

“Nope! I’ve got a partner already!” Hilda said, jumping off to the side to grab Marianne’s arm, who looked like she had been trying to escape the dance floor.

“Oh...um…” Marianne quietly protested, but Hilda ignored her and grinned at Lorenz. It was Sylvain’s turn to laugh, but as he looked around them, he realized that Hilda was right. Everyone nearby was already paired off, and he was currently trapped in the middle of the room; there was no way he would be able to escape without causing a fuss for the other dancers. Damn it.

“You guys aren’t scared to show off your dancing, are you? I’d sure like to see who’s the better out of the two of you.” Hilda said as she pulled the confused and flustered Marianne around on the dance floor. Lorenz and Sylvain turned towards one another, glaring daggers at each other.

“As if I would let you of all people surpass me in the realm of dancing.” Lorenz said, clearing his throat as he bowed in Sylvain’s direction and offered him his hand, “Would you dance with me, Sylvain?” Sylvain did not fail to notice the condescension dripping in Lorenz’s tone, and he scoffed as he took his hand.

“Fine, I accept. But only so that I can show you up in front of everyone.”

“We shall see about that.”

Brown eyes met amethyst in a heated glare as Sylvain moved to place his other hand at Lorenz’s waist, but Lorenz grabbed his hand before it could get there and moved it to his shoulder.

“Hey, what gives?” Sylvain asked as Lorenz’s hand fell to rest on his waist instead.

“Is it not obvious? I am leading this dance.” Lorenz said, and Sylvain rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, no way that’s happening, coconut head.”

“Rude! And I am taller than you, so it is only natural that I take the lead.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Their bickering continued as they pushed and pulled at each other, trying to assert dominance over the other but with little success. Sylvain grit his teeth as he pulled hard on Lorenz’s arm, while Lorenz planted his feet and caused Sylvain to lose his balance and fall against Lorenz’s chest. Sylvain quickly pushed himself away and his brow furrowed as he tightened his grip on Lorenz’s hand, prompting Lorenz to do the same.

“Wow guys, that’s a pretty interesting dance you’re performing there. I’ve certainly never seen anything like it before.” Hilda said as she and Marianne passed by Lorenz and Sylvain as they danced. They both turned their heated gazes her way before they went back to glaring at each other.

“Well, if Sylvain here would stop being a stubborn fool and let me lead, we would certainly look much better.” Lorenz said with a huff.

“Oh, please! You’re really calling me stubborn, you insufferable snob?” Sylvain retorted as he rolled his eyes. They had stopped their abysmal attempt at dancing and were now up in each other’s faces, anger blazing in their eyes. The other occupants of the room had stopped dancing by now and were watching the spectacle with great interest.

“Hey, guys, you’re kinda causing a scene here…” Hilda tried to interfere, but she was ignored as Lorenz jabbed a finger against Sylvain’s chest.

“You are always looking to impress the ladies, Sylvain, but I can see that your lack of tact in a social setting such as this is one of many reasons why none of them will give you the time of day.” Lorenz said, and Sylvain glowered at him as he smacked Lorenz’s hand away from his chest.

“Yeah, well, I don’t see how any woman would want to be with a self-important failure like you!” Sylvain spat, but he immediately regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. He saw the quick flash of hurt that crossed Lorenz’s face, and Sylvain realized that he may have gone too far this time.

“H-How dare you!” Lorenz said, his cheeks flushing with a combination of anger and embarrassment, “I do not have to take this from you!” With that, Lorenz quickly turned on his heel and stormed out of the ballroom. Sylvain grit his teeth and mentally kicked himself for his rudeness, and he yelped when someone smacked him hard upside the head.

“Ow, what the-” he grumbled, but he didn’t get to finish his sentence because Ingrid had grabbed his arm and smacked him again, this time across the face.

“That was horrible, Sylvain!” Ingrid scolded, her eyebrows narrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.

“Yeah, I know that…” he grumbled, rubbing at the offended skin on his cheek.

“You need to find Lorenz and apologize.” Ingrid said, grabbing his arm and dragging him to the door. “Honestly, saying something like that in front of a group of people. You really do lack proper tact.”

“Tch, you don’t need to agree with him…” Sylvain said, sighing and rubbing at the back of his head. Ingrid huffed and shook her head at him before turning around and heading back inside. Slapping a hand to his face, he looked around the courtyard as he contemplated where Lorenz might have run off to. Suddenly, the professor appeared at the opposite end of the courtyard, and Sylvain quickly made his way to them.

“Hey, Professor!” he said with a smile, and Byleth turned to look at him with that eerie, blank stare, “Have you seen Lorenz around?” They nodded and pointed in the direction of the Goddess Tower.

“Awesome, thanks!” Sylvain said. Byleth nodded and Sylvain waved his hand in their direction as he walked off, “Enjoy the rest of the ball!” With that, Sylvain made his way to the Goddess Tower and quickly ascended the stairs.

When Sylvain made it to the top, he paused when he spotted Lorenz standing on the balcony, gazing up at the star-filled sky as the moonlight illuminated the pensive look on his face. Sylvain hated to admit it, but Lorenz really did carry himself with a confident and noble air, even in the aftermath of a heated argument with his rival.

Sylvain crossed the room and stopped when he was behind Lorenz, and he cleared his throat to announce his presence. Lorenz started slightly, and looked over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing when they met Sylvain’s.

“Ah, Sylvain,” Lorenz said, his tone dripping with venom, “Here to fling more insults at this - oh, what was it? - Ah yes, I believe it was ‘self-important failure?’” Sylvain flinched and bit his lip, his shame-filled gaze falling to the floor.

“Er, no, I actually wanted to...apologize for that.” Sylvain mumbled, his gaze slowly moving back up to look Lorenz in the eye. Lorenz’s eyes went wide with shock as Sylvain continued, “Yeah, I said some pretty mean things back there, and you really didn’t deserve that, so I’m sorry.”

“This...is unexpected.” Lorenz said, and Sylvain’s nose scrunched up at his response, “But...I accept your apology, and I offer one of my own.”

“Oh?” Sylvain said, raising a confused eyebrow.

“Yes. I also said some rather rude things to you, undeservedly so. I behaved in a manner that was unbecoming of me, and I apologize for that.” Lorenz said, sighing as he brought a hand to his head and drummed his fingers against his hair. Sylvain blinked at him for a moment, before a grin crossed his face and he chuckled.

“Alright, I accept your apology too.” Sylvain said, moving to rest his hands on the railing as he looked up into the night sky. “We really looked like idiots out on the dance floor, though. I should’ve just let you lead. You did win the White Heron Cup, after all.”

“Indeed.” Lorenz said, laughing as he glanced at Sylvain out of the corner of his eye. “I was stubborn, though. You are a noble, and thus you ought to have been trained in proper dancing etiquette. I should have conceded and trusted in you instead of causing a scene. I will have to offer my apologies to the professor for making our house look bad.”

“Yeah, same here. I’ll also need to say sorry to all the ladies that had to witness that side of me.” Sylvain said with a grin, and Lorenz rolled his eyes.

“Honestly, do you ever stop with your relentless skirt-chasing?”

“Oh, and what about your obnoxious flirting?”

“Hm,” Lorenz scoffed, averting his gaze as a dusting of pink appeared on his cheeks, “At least I am being serious about finding a proper spouse. You just seem to be playing around with women and their feelings.”

“I guess that’s fair, but don’t you think you’re going about it the wrong way?” Sylvain asked, resting an elbow on the railing so that he could rest his chin in his hand. He raised an eyebrow when Lorenz just blinked at him, and Sylvain sighed and shook his head.

“I mean, if you go into conversations with the ladies just to ‘evaluate’ them, don’t you think that’ll kill the mood and scare them off? And what’s with your aversion to commoners, anyway? I don’t see why you couldn’t marry someone who isn’t noble.”

“Sylvain, you are a noble as well, so you should know why I cannot marry a commoner.” Lorenz said, huffing as he placed a hand on his hip and ran the other one through his hair. “I need to think of what is best for my house, and a common woman certainly would not be the best partner for the heir to House Gloucester.”

“So, what would you do if you did end up falling in love with a common woman? Or a man, even?” Sylvain watched as Lorenz chewed on his bottom lip and averted his gaze.

“I...cannot let my personal feelings get in the way of my responsibilities as a noble.” Lorenz said slowly, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I would have no choice but to ignore those feelings, as I have an obligation to produce a suitable heir to my house, and marrying a noble woman is the only way to do that.” Sylvain watched Lorenz carefully, not failing to catch the sad, lonely look deep within his purple eyes.

“Well, whatever helps you sleep at night, I guess.” Sylvain mumbled, and they both fell silent as they gazed out over the moonlit monastery grounds. Sylvain’s mind wandered a bit, and a sudden realization made him snort at the absurdity, prompting Lorenz to looked at him with a confused eyebrow raised.

“What is it?” he asked, and Sylvain chuckled.

“Have you heard the legends about the Goddess Tower? On this night specifically?”

“I am assuming you mean the ones referring to promises made here between lovers being guaranteed to come true?”

“Yeah, that.”

“What about it?” Lorenz’s eyebrows knitted with annoyance, and Sylvain just shrugged.

“Well, I just never thought that I’d be up here on this very night with _you_ of all people. The Goddess must have a terrible sense of humor.”

“Are you suggesting that _we_ would ever make such a promise? Oh, the very thought disgusts me to my very core.” Lorenz said, scoffing as if the very words left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Oh hell no. I’d sooner make a promise like that with a wyvern than ever think about making one with you.”

“I am surprised that has not happened yet, considering your reputation.”

“Hey, that thing with the chicken is totally not true!”

“Is it?” Lorenz asked as he tried and failed to hide the amused smile that crossed his face. Sylvain oddly found himself smiling back, and strange warmness filling his heart. Huh, weird.

“Only a gullible fool would believe those rumors, but I guess this is you we’re talking about.” Sylvain said, his tone teasing instead of malicious like it had been earlier.

“Ugh, you are so insufferable.” Lorenz said, trying to keep a straight face, but he ended up laughing anyway. “Goodnight, Sylvain.” With that, Lorenz turned on his heel and headed for the stairs, casually waving a hand behind him as he disappeared.

Sylvain waited until the echoes of Lorenz’s footsteps faded away to burst out laughing so hard that tears started falling down his face. He composed himself and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he shook his head.

“Lovers, eh?” Sylvain whispered to himself, letting another chuckle escape him as he shook his head. “Like that would ever happen…” Lorenz would forever be his greatest rival in the realm of flirting, nothing more and nothing less. Pushing off of the railing, Sylvain spun around and left the Goddess Tower himself, shoving his rival to the farthest reaches of his mind as he readied himself to get back to flirting with every girl in sight.

**Author's Note:**

> <s>And then exactly five years later they were smooching in the very same place in the Goddess Tower whoops</s> Yeah I guess ‘A Blow to the Head’ could be considered a kinda sequel to this lmao so I guess y’all can read that if you wanna see what happens exactly 5 years after the events of this fic. Anyway, thanks for reading!


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